Me ... speak no English !?!

In Miami I began to doubt my command of the English language...

In French coffee shop, served by a Latin girl, I order a small latte to stay ... slightly perplexed she asks me: Large? I, in what I think is quite clear English: No, small ... A few minutes later it is my turn to be confused ... I am staring at a gigantic steaming latte, in a take away cup...

Brunch the next day I order a fruit salad followed by an omelet. Waiter clarifies fruit salad, then later omelet ... Omelet arrives, followed by waiter proudly declaring he hasn't ordered the fruit salad and he will when I'm ready for it ... Hmmm, is this what happens when you don't order with obnoxious demands and aren't too picky about what fruit goes in your salad?

Decide to cut my losses and abandon fruit salad altogether, taking refuge in an Italian coffee bar deli called Pinocchio. My first decent coffee in days and homemade profiteroles. Who needs fruit salad! I couldn't resist those waves of delicious chocolate and perfect puff pastry. The filling creamer than I would have liked, but hey, when in Florida one must do as the locals do... The place itself small and filled with that familiar Italian slang. Everyone who comes in seems to be a friend or is greeted like one. There is a white fluffy puppy sitting on one of the bar stools barking at anyone who tries to pass the threshold. Can't be too good for business...

Wonder down the beach and get talking to a caricaturist, who turns out to be from the Ukraine, but having spent 12 years in a place where I took my childhood beach vacations. Twenty minutes later while we are chatting and laughing about how Europe rocks while the states suck I have an A4 caricature of myself. All teeth and curls - did say it was humid in Miami?!? Now that we have the caricature for the entrance hall, Just need to organize that glamour shot. I did say I wanted one of each hanging in my entrance hall by my 30th...