Falling in

Tonight I was about to do something. On face value nothing out of the ordinary, but it is a pattern I tend to fall into. I know full well it will, as always, lead me to the merry-go-round. I will ride around once, twice even, getting off bored, not having become a better person and worse, sometimes doubting myself.

I took a step, then stopped peering inside. A little voice whispered, asking me if I really want to continue the descent. And just like that, I turned around and continued walking. I no longer was interested in what I would find on the other side. The curiosity was gone. For now I know what it should feel like ... and this just wasn't it!