The one I really want

Want may be a really strong word, but it is halfway there. The date I really want is the one I may not ever get to have. But 'of course' you say, that is Murphy's Law. The other dates may simply be a distraction. The guy I actually want to get to know better, I have yet to hint I am interested. I'm keeping my distance, because the last time I saw him my heart leaped up into my throat and stayed there for as long as he remained in the vicinity.

So yesterday I was happily walking home, and there he was standing on the kerb chatting away on his phone. What did I do? Look at him out of the corner of my eye, and kept walking. The rationale? If he saw me (which I don't think he did) he would wonder why I blanked him and next time he sees me he'll be extra thrilled ... How old am I?

The special reason I am tiptoeing about the next time I see him ... I decided last week that it would be the moment I need to do something about this crush. I promised myself I would make an effort to make intentions clear. And yesterday, I was just unprepared ...