What Does One Do?

Well, after today I have reason to believe that the fever induced delirium I experienced this weekend was also combined with PMT. Now that my friends, is the best combination to throw an otherwise stable female into complete emotional turmoil. She wrestles with herself, emerging a few days later, battered and bruised! A month later when it descends upon again, she has no recollection of previous occurrences and is again thrown in, to ride the waves of femininity ... Alas

Now that I can be a bit more reasonable I will share with you some more of my random thoughts.

1. Should I see The Ex when I'm in Sydney in a few weeks?
It was passionate, temptious relationship which eventually settled into domestic bliss. Bliss that is until I decided it was no longer for me and I packed my bags for London. He obviously was not too pleased with my decision. There were tears, there were screams. From there it all went downhill. The last time I saw him, we shared a perfunctory hug in our kitchen in that beautiful house in Bondi. More like he hugged, I stood there rigid with the stress of packing all day. And I have not come face to face with him since. We have both moved on. He has found domestic bliss, has a daughter and me I am enjoying the life I always wanted. But there is something still niggling. I know he is not the one, so what then? He looked me up a few years back, there were emails and phone calls, some inappropriate things were said so I cut the communication. He was then going through the motions, the same ones I went through when I first arrived here. It is so true what they say about men ... such late bloomers. So why am I having these thoughts? Am I looking for closure (whatever that means) ??

2. Random guy is on my mind
Unfair to call him 'random', he is a friend or an acquaintance, depending on your definition of those two words. He has been around for a few years, never at the forefront, more on the sidelines. He is a keen player but never brave enough to step up on to the pitch. Recently have seen more of him, each time leaving me with a feeling I can't describe. The feeling is there, but then goes away. Finding out last week that I will see him again soon has brought more of that feeling on. He is on my mind and I don't know why!