Bob

Allow me to introduce Bob. From Day 1, she has been an avid visitor to this blog, and has proved it to be a very purposeful to its cause. The object is of course to keep friends close, even when we don't have time to catch up properly. And here you were thinking Sinchronicity was here to keep the curious web surfers entertained ;-) Well, maybe it is a bit of both.

It was great to see Bob! It had been a while since we had a one-on-one and so much has happened since. She has gained entry into the MBA program at a top school - Congrats! She continues to be very happy with Mr C - although I am a bit of a cynic, I am always very pleased when I see my friends settle in blissful relationships. And as always we dedicated a few minutes (silently, well at least I did!) pondering the attainable possibility of both of us ending back in Sydney at the same time. Last but not least she finally got to meet Minky, and vise versa.

What makes me happy?

Inspired by Miss Natalie's recent Deal Breakers list, I have been thinking of what it is I look for in a man. What I thought was important seems to have been thrown out of the window recently (recent dating posts). Being taken out to flash restaurants by a well dressed good looking man does not tickle my fancy ... what is wrong with me?

I think my problem is I date two very distinct types, and tend to toggle back and forth. One is the reliable, mature, very well groomed, ideal father of my children. And the other is the funky, trendy, good time guy, whom I have a ball with but always know it will have to end. The good bit is, I guess I get the best of both worlds ... I spend a few months hanging off the arm of a gorgeous guy at the latest cool night spots, constantly partying and then I get tired. All of a sudden I crave stability and quiet nights in, bring in the reliable mature one. Then a few months later I get bored and it starts all over again ... The downside is I'm constantly suffering from 'the grass is greener on the other side' syndrome.

I figured this was cycle which I would eventually 'grow out' of. So here I am a month short of my 28th birthday and no signs of budging from current dating stance.

So do I have a Deal Breakers list? Yes, but it is constantly changing.

Surprise Visit

The call was not so much a surprise, because I knew he was in town and it was imminent he would get in touch. Although I had a sneaking suspicion he had already left. The best bit was that just last night I had tried to call him, hoping I would catch him before he boards that plane.

Two weeks ago I would have called him HK J, but now he is indeed NYC J ! NYC J is not a lover, but a friend I have become fond of over the last few years. One of those people you don't see that often, but when you do it is priceless. There were the memorable nights in pre-Abramovich Purple, riding down the Kings Road in a white limo on my birthday and who could forget that night in Hong Kong last November.

So here we were. Me coy, as I was skipping yoga and him slightly hungover but with his unmistakable cool. Over vodka and Becks we dissected the last 6 months in record time. It was a rush! The walk home after ... I needed that!

The Weekend

• Visit to Mum & Dad's. Great to see them and catch up. Note to self: Must come more often! Pefect weather to be out in the country. Hours spent reading the Saturday Times in the garden. I love the English summer!
• K's birthday on Sunday. Lunch at Heston Blumenthal's gastro pub in Bray - The Hinds Head. Singing Happy Birthday, not once at dessert, but at each course. Priceless! Luckily for her we were not having an eight course Tasting Menu. Lunch stretched out into the early evening and champagne by the Thames riverside. Two cancelled taxis later we found ourselves at a booth in the Revolution vodka bar in Reading. We danced for hours. Birthday girl got a snog (s)! And I, eager not to dissappoint, gave my number out to a couple of twenty somethings who promised to take me somewhere nice! It is going to be an interesting week of fielding text messages from randoms. Can't wait!!

Friday Night

A fantastic start to the sunny long weekend. Came home to the wonderful scent of homemade thai green curry. M had cooked up a storm over the previous 2 days and the results were fantastic. The curry paste was from scratch blended, after days of trawling Asian supermarkets for the right ingredients, with the kind of effort and love understood only by a true foodie.

Spicy curry followed by a spicy Spanish film. The current must see movie is Volver. A raw story of female relationships, in a less bourgeois setting. True to its subject the film is an interesting insight into rural Spanish life and culture. Admittedly I am a Pedro Aldomovar virgin, but this film has tempted me into a search for some of his other titles.

Second Date

Dinner on Tuesday night tickled my fancy enough to commit to a second date for Saturday lunch. It was left up to I to confirm and was surprised to feel butterflies in my stomach before making the call a few days prior. I suggested we visit the Kandinsky exhibition at the Tate Modern, thinking it was a long shot but indeed he agreed.

I of course, was late. More interestingly I had asked him to meet me half hour earlier than I had remembered, which meant I was really late! He looked fantastic. This man does indeed have a very cool edge! Red faces aside it was a great afternoon. The exhibition was interesting, except the disputed point of should we, or shouldn't we get the audio tour, and he surprised me afterwards with lunch at the Oxo Tower Brasserie. I love and go to these places, but when I guy surprised you on a date there is this extra Wow! factor. And it was very Wow! I did indeed feel very special!

Not sure there will be a Third Date. We had the ever so slightly uncomfortable 'age conversation'. Turns out he is older than I expected. The slightly creepy bit was that he thought me to be younger than I am. Yes, this is very flattering but I can't help but wonder what was going through his mind. Am I being ageist?

Brighton

I love being a girl! I love all the stuff that goes with it - the shopping, the pointless bitchy conversations, good food, fabulous cocktails, and not to mention the fantastic variety of footware! What is better than all of this? Well, throw in some fantastic company, a gorgeous hotel, warm weather and there you have it - The Bestest Girls' Weekend Away!

First Date

The lead up to last night was exciting, but not in the ordinary 'date' kind of way, if you know what I mean. I was in the right mindset - show up at the appointed place/time and if he doesn't show, too bad - but I let my confidence waver from what others thought. The whole thing was we agreed to no communication beforehand and that means no confirmation of impending date! All of a sudden on Monday night I was filled with dread - What if he doesn't show? Would my ego survive?

He did end up sending a text on the day and later it turned out the exact same thing happened to him ... a friend's doubt that I would fail to hold up my end of the bargain pushed him to break the Mexican standoff ... how funny!

I planned to be early (I am officially the worst time keeper), but of course was 15 mins late. He had been through the usual routine of turning up early, getting a drink at the bar, checking the dinner reservation (interesting, since he didn't know my last name), and getting increasingly paranoid. When I turned up he half had the thought of calling me to say he is late and running home to change ... You see we were dressed the same!

That's right! We were his/hers black and white outfits ala Posh and Becs in their blissful first years of marriage, pre-Rebecca Loos.

The date was 'different'. I remember laughing a lot. Conversation was light and fun, with a bit of meaningful facts sprinkled throughout. It was just right. I think I may see him again.

The Chef was on my mind thought. Oh, I keep forgetting. I must tell you about The Chef!

A Stare and a Flirt, equals a Date

This time last week Minky and I were making some serious impressions while perched on stools at the Long Bar at the Sanderson Hotel. It was a very girly extravagant night, aimed as maiden outing for her new Choos. We dined at Sketch, to the impressive interior design, the egg toilets (you have to see it to believe it) and unfortunately to the disappointing cuisine.

M had ideas of stirring things up a bit, but I remained sensible. Sometimes I wonder why I feel the need to do that?

He was staring insistently to the point of me having to avoid looking even remotely in his directions. M thought it quite amusing and branded him my 'boyfriend' within 15 minutes. Hmm! Together with friend he approached and was rather cocky. I returned the gesture by being somewhat standoffish which seemed to encourage him even more. A few insults later we had arranged to meet for dinner! The smart move on his side, was not giving me his number, so I can't cancel! Then again come Tuesday I could very well be having dinner by myself at my favourite restaurant...

Although somewhat exhausting I may keep up the alpha persona. I'll be picking up tips from '6 Signs You are Dating an Alpha Female' . It makes me laugh ... men are just like us.

The Weekend Ahead

Off to Brighton tomorrow! Girls' weekend with K and S. I am selecting appropriate outfits and getting in the mood by watching Sugar Rush.

An Ordinary Day ...

... but it was those little things that made it special

• Anticipating the perfect haircut which is to come after 6.30 pm appointment at Franco & Co
• Giggles over email with K ... laughing at the poor guy who has had a crush on her for like, forever! You know the one with 'big ears and tuffy hair'.
• Walking along Upper Street, post perfect haircut, extra spring in step, smiling at innocent looking older gentleman sitting outside pub. Could almost hear the music playing, until he turns into an old drunk yelling obscenities after me. Classy!

London never ceases to surprise me!

Why do I bother getting out of bed?

Busy day at work. A bit too much attention, attention of the 'not so positive kind'. Dinner plans were cancelled and by 6pm I was dying for a glass of wine. For those of you not used to the London way of life, drinking on a non descript weekday evening is not just for alcoholics.

S came to the rescue! By 6.45pm we were sitting in a booth in the usual trusty wine bar gossiping! She with new sexy haircut, me in newest balloon hem skirt. Yay!

Two glasses of Marlborough sauvignon blanc later I walked home. En route home I made a call to L which was pleasant but lacked spark. I hung up and promptly deleted his number. If no spark, is there really any point in keeping it?

Who is my current Crush?

Something I can never get tired of ... having a crush. It is so juvenile and fresh. Reminds me of carefree days gone by.

Ian Somerhalder, I have had a soft spot for since seeing the odd episode of Young Americans a few years back. It all came flooding back a few weeks ago in New York City. There was an Adelaide boy I met in an Aussie bar in the East Village (as you do) who had an unbelievable resemblance to him. I have the photos to prove it but it may be a bit weird to post them here.

Anyway, he was very sweet and rejuvenated my forgotten crush.

What is behind a name?

An article in the Guardian newspaper from September 2003 quoted Alexandra Shulman, editor of British Vogue, defining Alpha Female as a woman who "would never get lost on the North Circular, and would look good in a miniskirt". The former I am and the latter I strive for. Or do I? ... The truth is, I rarely drive in London. I don't think I would get lost on the North Circular, but I have never attempted it without the help of the sat nav. On the miniskirt front, I haven't worn one since I was 20. I would like to, but always think I am a bit too tall and refined looking to pull one off.

So here you have it, in black and white. I am not really an alpha female, I am simply at times perceived by other to be just that. Or do I just think this is how others see me? Who knows .. Maybe through sharing my thoughts with you I'll come to some sort of agreement within myself of what it is exactly that I am. Still ... It is a pretty cool URL to have :-)

__________________

Synchronicity is the "coincidence of events that seem to be meaningfully related". Minky have been known to tell me to "stop trying to draw parallels". I seem unable to help myself compare between people I have known at different times and events that seem to reoccur, but only at a different time and place.

Lately I have been watching the BBC3 show Sinchronicity. Not my usual style really, but I feel drawn to it. I find myself staying up late on a Sunday night to watch it. Even though it is on replay and I can see it at a much more reasonable time the following day. Its addictive ... All that analyzing and looking at how could an event be so different if only a small detail was changed. It is strangely similar to my own life. I spent a lot of time, too much time, going over what I said, wrote, did .... you get the picture.

Where do I begin?

It has taken me weeks to get around to setting up this blog. This is after months of playing with the idea in my head. Then it was hours to decide on a fitting screen name and title. It took a crazy weekend to finally make me stop procrastinating. There was finally a time that too much had happened and not enough time to share it with all those who would want to hear all the gory details. More about that weekend later ...

At these early moments I am not exactly sure what I will write. Keep asking myself how controversial will I dare make it? If you are reading this, and you do know me in real life, know that you are one of the few chosen special close friends who I share my deepest darkest secrets and my never ending loopy thoughts.

Stay tuned ...